This is cheating, since I'm doing it immediately after watching the Idol show late...but that should keep it short. I wasn't going to do a post at all, but upon seeing that Steven Tyler came dressed as Bella Abzug today, I felt it required comment. Hell, it requires illustration:
For reasons completely unclear to me, the American Idol puppies were sent to the British Consulate to celebrate "Brit Week" and the royal wedding. Why would you send a show called "American Idol" to Brit Week? We see Ben Kingsley and Eric Idle, both of whom appear bemused at meeting the Idol kids. Oh, and there's Fred Willard, whom Casey begs to be pushed in the pool by. (I know, so much passive, so many prepositions. I got confused.)
Back at the show, the group sing is "Take Good Care of My Baby," and it's the traditional car wreck. The way things shook out, you have such different kinds of voices that they never blend. But then the girls segue into "One Fine Day," which is cute, though the tempo's a little lagging. Love Lauren's little polka-dot dress, though! Now Scotty's singing "Go Away, Little Girl," surrounded by a group of swaying teenage girls. That's gross. Stop that. Back to the group, singing "It's Too Late, Baby," which actually sounds OK, probably because they're only singing in unison on like two lines.
Musical guest #1! Crystal Bowersox singing "Riding with the Radio" off her current album. Does she have her beloved mike stand? Yes! Heh. I'm such a nerd. Aw, she looks cute--still has her dreads, but they look cleaner, and GIRLFRIEND GOT HER TEETH FIXED. Her band looks like she picked up the first three guys she found at the 7/11. Big round harmonica player wearing a bad corduroy jacket, zither player with a ZZ Top beard, and a Williamsburg hipster guitarist. Oh, my mistake--Zither Dude is playing slide guitar, but it's on his lap. She sounds good, and I like the song--it's perky. Crowd is polite, but not ecstatic. They do put her album cover up on the big screen though, so that was nice. Bye, Crystal!
I'm skipping the "ask questions of the Idol wannabes." None of them is articulate enough to say anything interesting.
We move on to results and start with Haley, who's safe! Nice of them to let her off the hook early. Also, Steven/Bella quotes Marianne Williamson again. (Same quote.) Read another book, buddy.
Scotty's next. Is there any doubt? Well, Ryan's trying to provide some, by not giving him an answer before calling up Lauren. She doesn't get an answer either, but is sent back to sit with Scotty. Casey gets called up next (and at this point, Haley must be thanking her lucky stars that Ryan told her anything!). Are we going to give any results?
Hee! I've been fast-forwarding through the footage of last night, etc., but I've been missing Jimmy commenting on all the performances. Heard him discuss Casey, though: he says, "Casey will be a great singer/songwriter someday, but last night I was disappointed because he doesn't have to growl. Casey's got to realize that the family dog does not vote on this show." Heh. Well-played, Iovine.
No results for Casey either. Man, we are stringing things out tonight. Camera catches Lauren with a look on her face that says, "This is bullshit." James is up next. Think he gets his results right away? I bet he gets his. He does! And he's safe. No surprise.
Jacob's the last one to be called up, and I assume they'll toss him into the "no answer pile," but call everyone back up. I'm right again. Y'all, this is not my first time at the rodeo. The other three come back up, and we learn first that Lauren is safe. Lots of squealing in the audience. But the three remaining boys have to wait for Bruno Mars to sing.
I bet Casey and Scotty are both thinking, "See ya, Jacob!" and trying not to let that show on their faces. They have to hold those poker faces all the way through Bruno Mars' song. I find myself liking his singles kind of against my will. This one has a skippy little island feel, but more interesting is the set he's chosen. It's done up to look like a bunch of friends just jamming. There's a couch and a chair and a coffee table...and a golden retriever lounging on the couch! (He doesn't sing.) Good doggie!
OK, finally we're ready to hear who's going home. First we learn that Jacob is...safe! He's as shocked as anyone, and the judges clap mildly but aren't looking into camera. I think they suspect what's happening, and it looks like Casey does as well. Sure enough, Casey's going home. No one can defeat the Scotty juggernaut, but he had a good run and got some great exposure. More power to you, Casey. I wish you and your beard well.