SYTYCD Top 14 Results

Our results show begins with a colorful Bollywood number--but we're missing one guy. I can't spot who it is amidst the whirling scarves, but I can see Ricky, Mitchell, Jess and Marko (I think--unless that's Tadd). Cat makes no mention of it, though, as she introduces the judges. (Could I just have missed a dancer?) Apparently my refusal to acknowledge the celebrity judge of last night worked, because Carmen Electra is not with us tonight. And nor is Travis' purple jacket. Tonight he's in a tux. Cat is in a minidress made entirely of glitter.

We waste no time in welcoming our first two couples onstage for their results. They are Melanie & Marko and Caitlynn & Mitchell--I don't think M&M are in danger, so we're either looking at C&M in the bottom, or no one. And given the rapturous reception of their dance last night, I'm guessing that Caitlynn and Mitchell are safe too.  (This means we'll have to dump 2 out of 3 of the middle set, and then one from the last.) M&M are declared safe first, and act so relieved that it looks a bit put on, to be honest. C&M are holding their breath, but they're safe too! Happy screams from the audience.

We come back to a bit about National Dance Day, but I'm not recapping this nonsense. (It's July 30, in case you're observant.)  Let's get to our next three couples--Cat brings out Chris & Ashley, Jess & Clarice, and Jordan & Tadd.  I think Chris might wear the same thing every results show. Does he have only one dancing t-shirt? What must that smell like by now?

Chris & Ashley are the logical pair to go home, except that Chris is a cutie and could get the teenybopper vote....but they don't. They're in the bottom three, and I think they're doomed. Nigel's over them. Now that America has voted, he reframes last night's mild criticism of their salsa style and says, "It really wasn't there." Dude, we won't kill you if you say negative things, honest! Moving on...in the review of last night's dance, I am struck anew about how unflattering Clarice's romper was. We also review Jordan & Tadd's dance before revealing the results. I will also note that Jordan's bra top has blue feathers on one boob tonight. She has a lamental love of uniboob adornment--can't we stage a fashion intervention? Not now we can't, because Jordan will have to dance--she and Tadd are also in the bottom 3. Neither of them looks particularly surprised; they know it's hard to drum up votes when you're stuck with a slow dance like the waltz. Clarice & Jess are safe, and it seems like they've climbed up in the ranks for good.  At the very least, I think they may make the tour!

Now it's time for our final two couples, Ryan & Ricky and Sasha & Alex. One of them must be in the bottom--will Sasha & Alex pay for last night's lackluster hip hop? Has Ryan done enough to win us over? Does America prefer pink fringe or yellow eyeshadow? I will grudgingly say that Ryan looks better than she ever has--she got a soft wavy blowout and a smoky eye in preparation for tonight. Sasha looks like she thinks it's them. But no! It's Ryan and Ricky! America just will not have Ryan, regardless of Nigel's pushing. (OK, I suppose it could be Ricky we're rejecting, but I suspect not.) Travis seems blown away and expresses disbelief before urging them to dance for their lives. Honestly, does it even matter? Nigel's not getting rid of Golden Girl--he's going to dump Chris and Ashley.  It's OK--they're probably the weakest remaining couple. I do wish he was willing to split up some pairings, though! It would be interesting to see what happened if, say, he dumped Ryan and Chris so that Ashley partnered with Ricky.  I miss when the partnerships were mixed up every week.

While the soloists prepare for their dances, we watch the Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet troupe, which reminds us what truly professional dancing looks like. These people have muscles on their muscles, and move with astounding fluidity and grace. Amazingly, I am able to appreciate their quality of movement without having someone tell me that it's a story about a man and a woman who are passionately in love.

Ashley is our first soloist, and to my untrained eye, her solo is terrible. It's mostly her stepping around the stage, kicking and pirouetting and smile-smile-smiling. She definitely didn't save herself with that. Chris, on the other hand, breaks out every trick he has and may have actually unscrewed his neck from his head. He is breaking as though his life depends on it. (Which, by the terms of the show, it does.) Jordan does a spin, several HMVs, and takes way too long to warm up given that she only has 30 seconds. Half these people don't know how to choreograph a solo--wouldn't you have at least a couple of 30-second bits in your pocket when you got cast?

Tadd breaks things up by starting his solo stage right and walk-breaking to center. He, too, has lots of tricks, but they're not as impressive and connected as Chris's. Ryan is next--hope she didn't get her hair did for nothin'! She's very flaily in the usual contemporary mode, and there's a bit of hairography, but she's also the only girl who's infused her dancing with any emotion. Probably enough to stay. Ricky starts with a slow arabesque and then does some amazing leaps, followed by the equivalent of the HMV for men. His movement is great, even if the poses aren't all that cohesive. I don't think he's in trouble tonight.

We take a break for Florence + the Machine while the judges deliberate. Does Florence have any relationship to dance at all? I know she's a pop star, but in an indie rock vein, no? Not exactly Lady Gaga.  I will point out that the band's drum & keyboard are festooned with flowers, and also note that this is the first act I've seen involving rock harp. If only it didn't sound so much like Tuvan throat singing.

We're back! The three girls are holding hands and on the verge of tears, but Ashley looks like she's resigned to going home. Sounds like the judges were unimpressed with the solos in general, because Nigel tells them all, guys and girls, that they need to up their game. He also specifically calls out Jordan on all the HMVs, though he calls them developpes. Then he tells her she's been excellent in all her routines on the show thus far. Ryan is called forward just to be told, "We love you. You were excellent tonight. Step back." Ashley comes forth and Nigel tells her that she's been good, but not really great, and she is dismissed. The audience doesn't seem surprised, or indeed, upset. Ashley's devastated but trying to put a brave face on it.

Now the boys are up, and we start with Ricky. Nigel says, "Travis believes that next to Marko, you are the best contemporary dancer we've got this season." Hmm, that's a bit weird--why ascribe that opinion to Travis and not yourself? Nigel goes on to say, "Somehow you and your partner are not connecting with America." That's weird, you guys--I must have missed the part where Nigel criticized Ryan for not connecting with the audience. I'm sure I would have mentioned it if he had! Chris does amazing solos (that's all we get). Travis says (per Nigel) he really wants to work with Tadd. (Go back.) Nigel calls Chris back up and says that although his solos are awesome, he's not keeping up in the main dances, so he's going home. Fair enough. There's a ripple of dismay in the audience, but not a big one--I think people know he's done the worst of these three guys.  They also know Nigel isn't splitting up partners, so once Ashley was gone it was pretty much a done deal. I think Chris and his amazing cheekbones will be OK. I can only assume there's a modeling contract in his future.

As Cat urges the audience to their feet and salutes the dancers, Chris and Ashley are smiling and weeping as though they really are going to be taken out and shot. Aw, they seem like nice kids. Best of luck, you two!  And that'll do it until next week!

SYTYCD Top 14 Perform

Oops, here I am, happily watching Cat tell us about her 4th of July barbecue, when I realize...I'm supposed to be recapping this thing! No part of my life is unmoderated by glowing rectangles. It's a sickness.  Fortunately, nothing's started yet. Judgery update: we're joined tonight by two special guests, Carmen Electra and Travis Wall.  Carmen is dance-trained, apparently, and won Miss Dance Ohio back in the day. Travis is the Anointed One, as you know, and is wearing a purple velvet jacket about which no more will be said. If I start calling him Willy Wonka partway through, you'll know why.  Tonight we'll have two group dances as well as our usual routines...and away we go!

We have a new choreographer, Justin Giles, who sounds like he's a good ol' Southern boy. He's choreographing a group dance for the boys (thank you for sparing me, show, by just gender-sorting everyone this week). The rehearsal footage suggests that Giles is a contemporary dancer--he tells us that the dance is about "the 7 stages of grief." While I am initially excited about this departure from yet another love story (leaving aside the fact that I thought there were only 5 stages?), my glee is fleeting when he explains that the boys are grieving a failed love affair. As there are 7 boys, I suspect that each one will be portraying a different stage, which Justin kindly lists: shock, anger, denial, depression, guilt, bargaining and acceptance.

The guys begin on a darkened stage under individual spotlights, clad in different outfits in the same gray palette. Jess is in a rumpled suit, Ricky is in shorts, etc.  Marko is shirtless for us.  Thanks, Marko! Chris is being eaten by his hoodie. I like the choreography--it's forceful and sort of martial-artsy, mostly in unison or series. Can't say that I got all seven stages, but they were definitely angry in the middle there somewhere. I think Kubler-Ross would give it to them.

SYTYCD Top 16 Perform

I'm back from a busy day of RWA shenanigans--Times Square is filled with romance writers, people, so you'd better watch out!  Fortunately, I'm still in time for tonight's SYTYCD.  Our lovely hostess, Cat, is in full flapper regalia today.  Either someone got a bob, or she has a clever stylist, because her hair is all short and curly--she's in a glittery flapper shift as well. Very cute.

We have four judges tonight--maybe the first two rounds convinced them that the guests weren't going to say much?  In addition to Nigel and Mary, we have Lil C, and special guest Kristen Chenoweth, who is now required to appear on every Fox show at least once a season. Does she really have much to say about dancing? I know she's a Broadway star, but my sense is that she's not exactly cast for her footwork. Lil C is his usual self, but I must grant him a "heh" when Cat asks what he's been up to and he says, "I've been a busy lil' buckster." But I don't actually care what he's been doing, so I FF.

Tonight the group is split into halves for two group numbers--Cat tells us the judges won't comment on the group routines, but will take them into consideration.  Think this is just a ploy to let them keep their golden child, Ryan, despite the fact that the audience didn't cotton to her last week? I'm suspicious.

First group has a Tyce routine, and I'm sorry to say the bowler hats are back.  He's choreographed a guys vs. girls dance involving chairs and hats, in which the girls kick ass. How fresh and original. I was just talking with someone about how much we hate that all competition shows so quickly devolve into boys vs. girls, as though gender was a signifier of skill.  Please address the sexual politics of this in the comments :).  Anyway, they're dancing to "Hit the Road, Jack" and the chairs have those stick-on spotlights underneath them, which I suppose is supposed to be innovative. I think the number is badly filmed so that we're probably missing a lot of the patterns, but it's OK. Decent for Tyce, not as shticky as he can be.

Our first couple is Sasha and Alex, dancing a Dee Caspary contemporary routine. I liked Caspary last season, and I'm happy to have some relatively fresh blood. The opening video clips are about the dancers' first performances, and as Cat says, are really just an excuse to show baby photos of the kids. I will mention them only if they say something remarkable. The dance is a love story (again), but in this case Sasha is playing the memory of a long ago love, which Alex is remembering.  The dance opens with Alex seated at a piano. (Well, a "piano." It's huge and blocky in a way that makes me think it's meant for dancing on rather than playing.)  And indeed, they're all over it, around it, on top of it, and at one point, Sasha climbs inside it and then reaches her hands onto the keyboard from within. (Which looks a little creepy, frankly.) It was an odd piece, and I think they danced it well, but it didn't really let them show off so much.

SYTYCD Top 20 - Four Dancers Leave. No, Seriously This Time.

Just a quick update to review our fallen gazelles...the first of our bottom three couples are Missy and Wadi (wonder if America agreed that Wadi was the weak link, or if they weren't as charmed by Missy's identity of "sexy contempo"?).  They're in a group with Mitchell & Caitlynn (whose name I couldn't remember), who are safe after she got punched in the snoot yesterday. Sasha & Alex are the third couple in this group, and honestly, we're not sending Sasha home this early (nor are they announcing the second endangered couple this early).  I fast forward through the rather maudlin review of their dance, the recap of which leaves Alex in tears. And they're safe, of course.

There's a bit about Gatorade and athleticism and Nigel is gibbering and I'm boop-booping. Next!

SYTYCD Top 20 Again - Blogtastrophe!

Gah! My poor Tivo management meant that I accidentally ranked The Voice higher than SYTYCD, and thus came home late to discover I'd missed the first 45 minutes of the show.  My apologies, fans!

We begin with Missy and Wadi's dance--they have a cha cha with Jean-Marc, the ballroom elf who looks like your company's IT manager.  Missy is a bit of a control freak in rehearsals, wanting to be perfect, while Wadi is just trying to wrap his mind around a cha cha at all.  In the performance itself, they begin with some tutting--a shout-out to Wadi's specialty, perhaps?--and then set off...but they are dancing to Ke$ha, which is a mandatory .5 deduction. There's lots of sexy posing and Wadi picking Missy up and putting her down, but not a lot of work in hold--and the dance seems to lack elevation.  I don't feel any chemistry between these two. Will the judges be suck-ups like they were last week?

Whoa! Debbie Reynolds is a guest judge! Don't know why, but what the hell. She just tells them "muy bueno." Nigel is the first to rain on our parade, though nicely.  He felt Wadi was too weak, especially in the arms--there was no power and technique. Yeah, fair enough. Says Missy was great, though, and "took care of herself." Sorry, Wadi.  Mary agrees that Wadi was the weakest link, and says a bunch of good technical things about the inside edges of his feet. Then she turns up the volume and screams that Missy is "the cha cha queen"!  Still not feeling her. Debbie chimes in to say that she'll take Wadi home, and "he can cha-cha with Debbie anytime." Heh.

SYTYCD Top 20 - Two Dancers Leave...Or Not

The opening number is a Sonya joint, and I thought it was really cool! They're sort of like Russian jazz ninjas with canes. (You know, that old thing....)  Turns out we're doing three couples plus Mitchell, I guess so no girl gets a free pass? The bottom three couples are Jordan and Tadd, Clarice and Jess, and Miranda and Robert.

I think Jordan's interview hurt her a bit, because she seems like kind of a dummy, and also she's a bit of a thick dancer compared to some of the others.  But ultimately, the biggest strike against this couple is probably that they had to go first.  Ten dances later, who remembered them?

Clarice and Jess were hindered by a boring routine, well-danced but without much in the way of chemistry.  As discussed, Jess got slammed in Vegas (and he had that icky joke with Cat after his dance during the showcase episode), and Clarice is mostly legs without a discernable personality.  The dreaded Who? factor may have come into play.

Miranda and Robert weren't totally expected, at least not by me.  Was it the jive that did them in? Or could America just be getting sick of Mr. Woo! and his Urkel routine?

In the interim, we have Keri Hilson singing...something....and a dancer from the Bolshoi dancing the gopek, the Russian folk dance that was the worst-received in the history of SYTYCD. He shows everyone how it's supposed to be done, and he's clearly a remarkable and beautiful dancer, but it's still boring.

Solos! Mitchell goes first, and although his gestures are too matchy-matchy with the lyrics, he has some beautiful leaps and kicks.  I'd keep him, just so we could see him dance for real.  Jordan is next and dances like a stripper, basically.  A ton of HMV moves and little musicality. I say dump her.  Tadd does his b-boy stuff, which is impressive and should keep him safe, while Clarice is also a little strippery. She looks better than Jordan, though, because she's taller and her extensions are better, so I bet she stays. Jess kept the fedora (could it be the source of his power?) and basically just pirouettes his ass off. He busts out every step in the Broadway toolbox, and certainly is fighting to stay. Miranda's our last girl and enters like it's a gymnastics floor routine. Lotta hairography from this one. Finally, it's Woo!'s turn--the crowd starts hooting before he's even announced, and then he gestures for more. His solo's awfully marchy, but it's enough to keep him, I bet.  I think we're going to lose Jordan from the girls, but I'm stumped by the guys. Mitchell, because they have enough contempo boys? Or Jess, because he has an unpopular specialty and is unlikely to catch on with younger voters?

While the judges deliberate, Cat takes us back to Season 4, and the TV debut of a little lady called Gaga. (She debuted on SYTYCD? I feel so hip.) Then she announces that she will be guest-judging later in the season. Whee! She was actually very good as a mentor on Idol, though I'm not convinced she'll be as helpful about dance. And then we watch her new video, "The Edge of Glory." I like this song in spite of myself, because the substance, it is fairly thin on the ground in this one. But this video is boring. C'mon, Gaga, you can do better.

Judges are back! So who's taking the fall? We don't know yet, because Nigel has to take a minute to share the news that Clarence Clemons (who played sax in the video) had a stroke. And then, he still won't give us an answer, because the judges need to see Mitchell and Robert (that's Woo! for those of you who already forgot) dance one more time. This has got to freak them out. But I can see Robert is bringing it much harder this time--every joint is working overtime. Mitchell basically just starts his solo again, but I don't think he has the improvisational talent to jam-pack his routine at the last minute.  I think this probably sealed his fate.

Cat is doing yeoman's service managing this twist, because it really does look unplanned.  She's like the most charming tour guide you've ever had.  She calls the girls up to get their results first, says nice things about all of them, and then refuses to give us an answer.  He makes Cat call the guys up (is he seriously NOT going to dump anyone?), and starts with Jess, whom he calls "Jesse." He says nice things about all of them, too.

And of course, it turns out that all the bullshitting was to stall the fact that "we are not going to let anybody go home." So why are we here, dude? The crowd is screaming and the dancers have all rushed the stage to hug their compatriots.  Over the chaos, Nigel shouts to Cat that two couples will go home next week.  I guess they wanted Mitchell to have a chance to be judged on more than 30 seconds, which seems fair.

And then my Tivo cut off because of all Nigel's rambling, so if he said anything else important, I didn't get it! See you next week!

Dusting off the Ol' Blog...

For some more TV recaps! This time, it's my beloved "So You Think You Can Dance." I skipped the audition rounds, but we're finally ready to start the real thing with tonight's Top 20 show!

First off, may I observe that when you have 20 dancers, it takes FOREVER to introduce them.  Did it always take this long? I feel like I'm at a highschool graduation. But at Cat's "Here are the girls...and here are your boys," everyone does the little sashay-skip that has become tradition on the show, and I settle in for some comfort TV. Ahhhh....

Cat appears to be wearing a very shiny garbage bag, and her hair looks like she just got out of the shower.  I love you, Cat, but leave a little more time next week.  Also, because no one is safe from my rapier wit, including myself, I will confess to you that after eating a spring roll too vigorously, I found a carrot shred on my collarbone.  In my defense, I was really hungry.