The opening number is a Sonya joint, and I thought it was really cool! They're sort of like Russian jazz ninjas with canes. (You know, that old thing....) Turns out we're doing three couples plus Mitchell, I guess so no girl gets a free pass? The bottom three couples are Jordan and Tadd, Clarice and Jess, and Miranda and Robert.
I think Jordan's interview hurt her a bit, because she seems like kind of a dummy, and also she's a bit of a thick dancer compared to some of the others. But ultimately, the biggest strike against this couple is probably that they had to go first. Ten dances later, who remembered them?
Clarice and Jess were hindered by a boring routine, well-danced but without much in the way of chemistry. As discussed, Jess got slammed in Vegas (and he had that icky joke with Cat after his dance during the showcase episode), and Clarice is mostly legs without a discernable personality. The dreaded Who? factor may have come into play.
Miranda and Robert weren't totally expected, at least not by me. Was it the jive that did them in? Or could America just be getting sick of Mr. Woo! and his Urkel routine?
In the interim, we have Keri Hilson singing...something....and a dancer from the Bolshoi dancing the gopek, the Russian folk dance that was the worst-received in the history of SYTYCD. He shows everyone how it's supposed to be done, and he's clearly a remarkable and beautiful dancer, but it's still boring.
Solos! Mitchell goes first, and although his gestures are too matchy-matchy with the lyrics, he has some beautiful leaps and kicks. I'd keep him, just so we could see him dance for real. Jordan is next and dances like a stripper, basically. A ton of HMV moves and little musicality. I say dump her. Tadd does his b-boy stuff, which is impressive and should keep him safe, while Clarice is also a little strippery. She looks better than Jordan, though, because she's taller and her extensions are better, so I bet she stays. Jess kept the fedora (could it be the source of his power?) and basically just pirouettes his ass off. He busts out every step in the Broadway toolbox, and certainly is fighting to stay. Miranda's our last girl and enters like it's a gymnastics floor routine. Lotta hairography from this one. Finally, it's Woo!'s turn--the crowd starts hooting before he's even announced, and then he gestures for more. His solo's awfully marchy, but it's enough to keep him, I bet. I think we're going to lose Jordan from the girls, but I'm stumped by the guys. Mitchell, because they have enough contempo boys? Or Jess, because he has an unpopular specialty and is unlikely to catch on with younger voters?
While the judges deliberate, Cat takes us back to Season 4, and the TV debut of a little lady called Gaga. (She debuted on SYTYCD? I feel so hip.) Then she announces that she will be guest-judging later in the season. Whee! She was actually very good as a mentor on Idol, though I'm not convinced she'll be as helpful about dance. And then we watch her new video, "The Edge of Glory." I like this song in spite of myself, because the substance, it is fairly thin on the ground in this one. But this video is boring. C'mon, Gaga, you can do better.
Judges are back! So who's taking the fall? We don't know yet, because Nigel has to take a minute to share the news that Clarence Clemons (who played sax in the video) had a stroke. And then, he still won't give us an answer, because the judges need to see Mitchell and Robert (that's Woo! for those of you who already forgot) dance one more time. This has got to freak them out. But I can see Robert is bringing it much harder this time--every joint is working overtime. Mitchell basically just starts his solo again, but I don't think he has the improvisational talent to jam-pack his routine at the last minute. I think this probably sealed his fate.
Cat is doing yeoman's service managing this twist, because it really does look unplanned. She's like the most charming tour guide you've ever had. She calls the girls up to get their results first, says nice things about all of them, and then refuses to give us an answer. He makes Cat call the guys up (is he seriously NOT going to dump anyone?), and starts with Jess, whom he calls "Jesse." He says nice things about all of them, too.
And of course, it turns out that all the bullshitting was to stall the fact that "we are not going to let anybody go home." So why are we here, dude? The crowd is screaming and the dancers have all rushed the stage to hug their compatriots. Over the chaos, Nigel shouts to Cat that two couples will go home next week. I guess they wanted Mitchell to have a chance to be judged on more than 30 seconds, which seems fair.
And then my Tivo cut off because of all Nigel's rambling, so if he said anything else important, I didn't get it! See you next week!